Pittsburgh Oscar Night

4:23 PM Eastern Standard Time

Ah, Pennsylvania. Its funny, we’ve driven in the Pocket Rocket through this state a few times now, and each time I find myself perpetually white-knuckled in my tattered captains chair, grabbing the arms for dear life with every gust of Pennsylvania death wind until we’ve reached the end of this state. This time, though, no such respite - we’re off to Pittsburgh and poor Danny is driving through the maddening bursts of air like a champ. But it is beautiful, despite the grip of the wind on the van and my will to live. Looking out the window at the mountains, the farms, the expanses of moor-like snow-dusted land stretching our before our eyes, you can practically see colonial, revolutionary America (Josh swore he saw cannons, likely abandoned by Washington himself, along the side of the road).


Wind grumbling aside, I am looking forward to Pittsburgh. I was here once in college with the Rip Chords, my all-girl a cappella group at the U of I, and of course my two strongest memories are:

#1: some ridiculous post-show party (if you’ve ever been in an a cappella group, then you know the kind of drunken, self-indulgent and sometimes hilarious performing, both formally and socially speaking, that occurs at such a festivity)

#2: food. Specifically a sandwich with coleslaw and French fries on it. I mentioned this sandwich to Chuck at WJYE in Buffalo (a once-resident of Pitt) and he promptly mentioned “Primantis,” where we will inevitably eat lunch tomorrow and for which I am already salivating thinking about.

We’ll be visiting three radio stations while here at the Crown Plaza, and we may be playing tomorrow night if we can swing it. As for tonight, the boys and I will be watching the Oscars. I can’t imagine a better group of people to watch this major cultural event with. I’ll be looking to Nate for his fashion expertise on tonight’s glam, Danny for the gossip and Josh for the post-speech analysis and commentary. My job tonight – pure journalism. I intend to report fully on the Empty Pockets’ Oscar Night – sure to be filled with as much star quality as we can muster. Did somebody say…. Muster???

Till tonight…

11:53 PM Eastern Standard Time

And now, with the Oscars having closed their annual curtain, hear what the Empty Pockets thought of the big night for film.

Let’s start with the Hugh Jackman intro.
-Kate Winselt, charmingly humble as she’s singled out twice
-Hugh’s head popping through the Benjamin Button heads looked exhausting and adorable
-Anne Hathaway, you kicked ass (“Oh, Nixon!”) and we noticed the costume change. Well done.
-The weird Reader dance had us in hysterics
Bottom Line: by the time the cardboard Oscars popped up, we were all in love with you, Hugh.

In general, the boys were unimpressed with the technical aspects of the production (*sigh* boys will be boys). They felt the curtain fiasco before the supporting actress segment was embarrassing and why couldn’t the Academy cut to a regular TV feed for the movie clips?

Though the evening was filled with moments of both bizarre confrontational frankness and intensely devotional prose given from previous oscar-winners to the nominees, here are some Empty Pockets insights on the production.

Goldie Hawn, it’s time to put the girls away. When asked what he thought of Sarah Jessica’s buoyant and salacious ta-tas in her dress, Danny replied that he was “for them.”
Ben Stiller’s Phoenix-clad roaming onstage was hilarious and while Phillip Seymour Hoffman's acting DOES make me question the truth and a myriad of other inspiring things, his hat makes me sad that he still feels the need to rob banks and be ugly while doing so. Chicago’s very own Michael Shannon, who I used to chat it up with while performing at his A Red Orchid Theatre, was introduced for his nomination by Christopher Walken (cool) and Danny was bummed to learn the Olsen twins were not accepting dear Heath’s oscar (not cool).

Empty Pockets’ favorite surprises:

#1: “thank you this, thank you that... domo arigato, mr. roboto,” guy

#2: classic ivory scarf guy with the magic coin who balanced the oscar on his chin and then made it bow to the audience

Overall winner: Slumdog. I feel the love on that project. Haven’t seen it yet, but definitely will soon.

Good night, Hugh. You were a pleasure to watch this evening. Dance, baby, dance.

-Erika