"Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and chicks for free"
Indeed, Dire Straits, indeed. Wise words from wise-man Mark Knopfler, a man so respected in the world of rock as to have a freaking dinosaur named after him. (Where's the Diplodocus Claptonus or the Dilophosaurus Jethro Tulli? C'mon, paleontology.) We here in the Empty Pockets feel the words even deeper, having spent much a portion of our pre-rock time moving refrigerators and color television sets, whilst delivering and installing custom kitchens... or the nearest labor equivalent. That being said and with all due seriousness, we are all very much looking forward to playing the guitar on the MTV. So, if you'll just send us our free money and chicks, that would be sweet. About the chicks: Will the come hatched or do we need an incubator?
Nate and Dan seen moving, delivering
Speaking of MTV, my ramblings about and around the internet brought me to an article about American Idol, posted on MTV's website. Before we get to the article, allow me to say this: I don't really watch American Idol at all. I understand it's appeal and I'm clearly in the minority, but it's just not for me. I have only a select amount of TV viewing time and choose to spend it on different forms of entertainment. I also haven't watched MTV too terribly much since... well, since Beavis and Butthead were originally aired, but that has more to do with access to cable than anything else. I do enjoy Rob and Big as a dirty pleasure and Silent Library, originally a Japanese game show, is often as painful and awkwardly funny as it is a salient look at the ability to find humor in the potentially painful or embarrassing situation of others. Moving on.
The article, written by MTV News correspondent Jim Cantiello, is a mildly-acerbic, tounge-in-cheek 60 second wrap-up of the recent happenings on American Idol. Nothing staggering, but quick and effective, allowing those of us who don't afford the time to consume the product to at least converse on a certain level with those who do. Until this:
"But "Idol" is first and foremost a music show (just kidding)..."
Whoa, MTV. Whoa. I know you're the grand-daddy in the room when it comes to music videos and promotion, but whoa. Isn't that a bit too cheeky? I mean, really. Inspecting the MTV and MTV2 lineups shows a large majority of the programming isn't really music related at all. Sure, you can stream music videos from MTV.com, but that doesn't satiate the burning need for music videos on my television screen. However, I'm aware that advertising revenues are probably better with a channel playing more diverse and culturally-targeted programming and running a television channel must be expensive, so I present you a deal:
Just gimme one week.
Make your money, pay your bills, do your thing for fifty-one weeks a year. Just give me one week where I can sit at the telly, hit the MTV and soak myself in delicious music. Surely, Viacom would most likely say, you can gain your video-based jollies from MTV Hits or MTV Jams, which provide mainly music videos. Honestly, I say I cannot. They don't come with my basic cable package nor are the packed with the nostalgic je ne sais quoi that can only come from pure, uncut MTV. Come on, MTV. I loved you once. Just hit my with that delicious juice for one week a year and you can say anything you want to anyone you please about their musical credentials. For as Sting so stirringly opined in "Money for Nothing", I want my MTV.
Rock it hard,
-Nate Bellon(bass)
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